A wild Alex appeared, for the 4th time.

I remember the first time I got my very first blog, I was so nervous of writing the wrong thing for my start-up post, I felt like I had to impress people (that at the time weren't following me) like I had to show them that I was worth reading about. Now I'm on my 4th blog and I really don't care what I write, its not about impressing anyone any more, its about having a place to talk freely, to truly express everything I have to hide in my real life. For those of you currently non-existent people that cannot read, my name is Alexandra, or Alex or my mother's nickname for me is Bong/Bongo so feel free to use any of the aforementioned if you ever want to speak to me. I'm 17 and in college so be prepared for lots of rants at my college for expecting me to fit 16 hours of revision time in a week after lessons and homework. Reading is pretty much the only thing I am good at, I have been reading since I was about 2 years old and read Moby Dick by the time I was 7 (not to brag or anything but I was like a realistic version of Matilda) For all of my reading talents I am not very good at writing though people tell me I am so I'll have to post things from time to time and see what you invisible people think. I am prone to unpredictable, irrational mood-swings so lots of my posts may look like they've been written by a bi-polar off of their medication (Not to offend the bi-polar's of the world I'm sure you all write very well) I have an unnatural obsession with helping animals and wanting to rescue all strays I see (even though I am technically extremely allergic to most animals, but then, I'm also allergic to lots of the things food companies put in everyday items so I tend to ignore my allergies) I can admit I have a slight obsession with cleanliness and order, everyone I know says I have OCD but I don't like to think of it that way, I like to think of it more as...I'm nicely clean and like the things around me to be clean so I don't get dirty. Anyway, Moving on to something that has actually happened in my life instead of an auto-biography over a blog post, someone told me that the reason I'm lovely is because I look lovely, as in, that's the only reason he could think of, now I don't know about anyone else in the world but to me, that's pretty offensive, I don't think I'm particularly stunning at all, I'm maybe a little under average actually but for someone to say that the only thing about me that they like is my looks, that shit hurts. I'm sure I cant be the only person in the world who would be irritated by that comment. I don't meet this same friend though, as in, I rarely ever see him. I don't want him to be real if that makes sense? Like, when he's online and talking to me its nice, there's no commitment, nothing too heavy, the conversation flows easily, but if I met him in reality...It'd just be all too real, all the sweet things would be said out loud, they'd be meant, I'd have to take them as a statement instead of a passing comment. I don't think I can have him be real, that sounds selfish, I'm myself (obviously) and I think I sound selfish but those are the facts of the matter. This boy cant be real, he can be my peter pan. I wish I had more interesting things to talk about on here but I don't, this is pretty much my life, moaning, depressive comments, standing on the edge of certain things, its all very enthralling...Bye for now <3